#51: The Priority of Right Relationships

This week on Beyond the Pulpit we trace Jacob’s reunion with Esau to show why moving toward God means moving toward people. Scripture links worship, reconciliation, and everyday relationships, calling us to humility, restitution, and peace that shows up at home and at church.

• Jacob’s intentional detour to meet Esau 
• returning to God expressed through restored relationships 
• humility and restitution pictured in seven bows 
• Jesus prioritising reconciliation over ritual at the altar 
• peace with others as an act of worship 
• marriage conduct affecting the power of prayer 
• unity at communion prompting self-examination 
• discernment on timing: pursue or give space

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Welcome to Beyond the Pulpit, exploring the life and ministry of Walnut Creek Church downtown. Walnut Creek Church exists to glorify God by making authentic disciples of Jesus Christ who love and worship him and all they do. All right, welcome to Beyond the Pulpit. My name is Derek Wadley, and I'm joined here by Luke Cookie. Hey, good morning. And Dan Rude. What's up, everybody? And this last weekend we took a look at Genesis 33, where Jacob and Esau are reunited. And there's a lot of tension built up in this reunion, a lot of fear in uh Jacob's heart and mind, and not unreasonable uh fear and tension. Uh but it um it kind of draws out this idea of like having right relationships with people and kind of he wasn't right with his brother, and so because of many, many good reasons, I would say Esau had some reasons to be mad, reasons to be mad. But yeah, it just kind of highlights the tension that can exist when relationships aren't good or right.

Jacob’s Detour And Intentional Reunion

SPEAKER_02 1:07

Totally, totally. Yeah, in uh chapter 31, God he calls um he calls Jacob back into the land, and um he's got he's got he's gonna come back, he's gotta leave Laban, and he leaves Laban, God delivers him from Laban, and then and then he has to face Esau. And something I I as I was studying these chapters, I one of the questions I was thinking about is did did he actually to obey God did he actually have to see his brother? Is that something that he had to do? And as you study it, it seems like he didn't have any geographical reason why. It wasn't like um seer. Seir of Edom, you know, was was on the main road where he's passing by. In fact, it's it's the opposite.

SPEAKER_03 1:53

Yeah.

Returning To God And Facing Esau

Humility, Restitution, And Bowing

SPEAKER_02 1:54

Uh that Seir is way out of the way. And he never makes it to Seir because Esau comes towards him. But his heart, it's so interesting that Jacob, he decides he's going to go to Seir. He sends messengers ahead. We're coming, we're coming to you. So he goes way out of his way to um to see his brother. And I I've thought about this story a lot, more than I ever have in my entire life. And I've I've just thought, why did he do that? Like, why why does he do that? And um, I think there are several reasons why. But one of them is that Jacob returning to the land is a picture of Jacob coming back into the presence of God. A relationship with God. It it's like he's he's moving in the direction of the right worship of God. You know, whenever you leave the land, it's typically it's like a part of the narrative arc of the Old Testament. Like when you leave the land, it's typically bad. And when you come into the land, it's typically good. And so the the picture of Jacob coming into the land is a picture of him moving closer to God. And as he's moving closer to God, he he's he's gonna go, he's gonna go to Esau. And even even, you know, when he comes back into the land from Laban, he he meets with God, you know, and he names the place uh Mahanaim, the two camps, uh God's angels, the army of heaven, along with his his camp, his family. Two camps, he is fellowship with God. And then he goes to his brother. And then he goes to his brother. So it's a it is a picture of Jacob g getting closer to the Lord. And there is that principle that I think is so important for us to understand as Christians that um as we pursue a right relationship with God, as we grow in our walk with the Lord, um, that is directly tied to our relationship with other people. Totally. Um so our relationships with other people, that becomes the context in which we express our worship, uh, the word the right worship of God. There is this personal thing, me in God, yes, and amen. Very important. But what is equally important um is how we relate to other people. And so Jacob goes to great lengths to humble himself. He goes way out of the way. He goes to great lengths to humble himself and to try to pay Esau back in some ways. Um I'm gonna I'm making up. I'm making up for what I have I've done to you. I even though the blessing was supposed to go to Jacob.

SPEAKER_01 4:35

Yeah, it's interesting.

SPEAKER_02 4:38

And I don't know how it all fits, but I he there's a recognition that he's done wrong to to Esau, his his brother, even though Jacob was supposed to get the blessing, and even all the bowing, I don't know if you've ever noticed this before, but all the the bowing in uh chapter 33, it says that he himself bowed seven times down to the Lord. And then his when his family comes, everybody's bowing. Everyone's bowing. And it and it mentions that uh everyone is is bowing. And um in verse six, then the slaves and their children approached him and bowed down. Leah and her children also approached and bowed down, and Joseph and Rachel approached and bowed down. Everybody's bowing down. I'm like, why did that happen? Well, it's because part of the it's like the reversal of the blessing that Jacob received from Isaac when he pretended to be Esau, that others would bow down to him. And so it's a it's just a picture, I think, of Jacob recognizing I've wronged you. I've wronged you. And um I've hurt you, I've taken from you. And he's attempting to make it right. And God blesses that. Yep. God blesses that. And if there's one one characteristic that uh we should be marked by as Christians, it's that we are pursuing right relationships with people, even when we are the ones in the wrong. Exactly. Um you have do you have uh Matthew five? I do have Matthew five, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:09

Um yeah, Matthew five kind of hyperlinked to uh the New Testament here, and Jesus teaches on this clearly in the uh Sermon on the Mount. And he's talking in Matthew five, he says, uh Um but I tell you, everyone who is angry with his brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Whoever insults his brother or sister will be subject to the court, and whoever says you fool will be subject to hellfire, and then verse 23, 523. So if you are you are offering your gift on the altar, and there you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, which I find fascinating. It's like not that you have something against them, which would apply, I think, but that they have something against you. Totally. What do you do? You leave your gift there in front of the altar, first go and be reconciled with your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift. And um he says reach a settlement quickly with your adversary while on your way with him to court, and so he goes on and talks a little bit more. But it's pretty fascinating to think about the the the um uh the level of uh importance that Jesus puts on being reconciled to our brother or sister uh in Christ. And so like if you were my understanding, you guys can correct me here, but if you're traveling, the idea is you're going to Jerusalem to offer your gift at the temple. And so you many of these people they're pilgrim they're pilgrimaging? They're pilgrims. They're pilgrims. They're making their way to the city. They're making it. They're making their way to Jerusalem to offer their gift. And Jesus says, if you get all the way there, so some of these people are traveling days and um and they get there, and you're right there, you're about ready to put your gift on the altar, and you remember, oh wait, John has something against me. You're supposed to drop it there and travel days, in some cases back home to reconcile with your brother.

SPEAKER_00 8:05

And then come back.

SPEAKER_01 8:06

And then yeah, and then come back.

SPEAKER_00 8:08

And then come back, drop it and then come back when it's convenient. You know, it's like you are still you're in the middle of that act of worship.

SPEAKER_01 8:16

Yeah, and so our our relationships with one another and being at peace with each other is so important. We should, in one sense, uh we would say worshiping God and offering gift to God is of utmost importance. That's that's of great value. And Jesus says it is of great value, and so much so what you need to do is you need to reconcile with your brother before.

SPEAKER_02 8:37

The offering God wants in that situation is that we would be reconciled. Yeah. Yeah, the heart. It's the issue of the heart. Yeah, he says, He says, You bring a gift, that's good. I love gifts, I love, I love gifts. But but the gift that I want, the sacrifice I want, is for you to be at peace with your brother. Yeah.

Peace With Others As True Worship

SPEAKER_01 8:56

That's wild. And I think it probably plays into the fact can we truly be worshiping God from the heart when we have uh an animosity or whatever in our heart towards our brother, or we know they have that towards us. And um now, obviously, like we could travel all the way back, so to speak, or we could drop what we're doing and we can go try to reconcile with our brother and sister, and they may they may not reconcile. Certainly. But it's on us, as the scripture puts it, on us to make sure that we do our best to reconcile with them, certainly. Be in peace with them.

SPEAKER_02 9:26

Certainly. Yeah, it it this principle plays out in in the mar in the marriage relationship as well. You know, first Peter chapter three, verse seven says, Husbands in the same way, live your live with your wives in an understanding way as a weaker partner, showing them honor as co-heirs of the grace of life. Okay, that that's pretty straightforward. This that's how you're supposed to live with your wives in an understanding way, showing them honor. Why so that your prayers will not be hindered. God's like, um you if you do not treat your wife properly, your prayers will be hindered. It's like you can't um be unkind to your spouse. Live in a pattern of the pattern of being unkind, uh, not gracious, unloving, not living in an understanding way, and then go pray to God. God's like, um, don't pray to me, go be reconciled to your wife. That's right. Yep. Go be good to your wife, yeah, and then come back and and and and pray to me.

SPEAKER_00 10:33

And in all of this, reconciliation isn't about like going and setting the record right. You know, it's like it's about the relationship being reunified. That's being put together. Like First Corinthians six tells us, why not just be wrong instead of all this bickering or anything about that? It's not about being right, it's about being reconciled in right relationship. Because it's like you think about the reconciliation we have with God, it's kind of like we're not right in any of it, but like God like doesn't like put that in our face. It's like he sent Christ to die in our place so that we might be reconciled. We have to confess our sin and admit we need it, but it's like I don't even know the fullness to which Jesus died for me. And so it's like it's not about rightness being played out before reconciliation, it's about seeking that that right relationship.

Marriage, Prayer, And Hindered Worship

SPEAKER_02 11:22

Yeah. That's right. Certainly, certainly. Yeah, and uh I I think as a as a church, um we we need to be marked by uh the right worship of God, which it requires that we be right. We we do as much as we can to be right with other with one another, with with people in the church, outside of the church, with our with our kids, with our spouses. And we see this this example play out in Jacob's life. That Jacob he goes to outrageous lengths, huge lengths, to come and humble himself before his brother. And uh and you know, it'd be it'd be interesting to be Jacob if if you knew that God had picked you over your brother. That's that would be kind of a weird thing. Weird tension. If you knew that Esau was a wicked man, that he was an idolater, that he worshipped the wrong God. He's living outside the land wives, he's married Canaanite wives. Like there's so many reasons to believe to that Esau is an evil man. So you know that God picked you not Esau, you know that Esau is an evil man. Um you know that the blessing, like the source of the tension, in one sense, is that Esau wanted the blessing that God had rightly given to you. But your dad was the idiot, Isaac was the idiot. Yeah, and so Isaac sinned, Esau is immoral. God says, Jacob I loved, Esau I hated. Um in one sense, if you're Jacob, you can just be like, Well, God, I'm just going with what you say. Yeah, exactly. Right. I'm going with your promises. And he but he doesn't he doesn't do that. No. It's it's the exact opposite. Yeah, yeah. He brings no excuse. No excuse. He brings himself as low as he can go. Yeah. Um, he tries to make restitution for the way he's wronged his brother. And so it is a tremendous example of what it looks like to go as far as you can go, to be in a right relationship uh with people that you that have hurt you, or that you've hurt, I should say.

Not About Winning, About Reunion

SPEAKER_00 13:32

That's right. Yeah. So for the sake of time to land the plane, Luke, what's a what's an encouragement that you you would give us uh as a church?

SPEAKER_01 13:42

Well, um Romans 12, Paul says, verse 18, if possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. And so I think uh Dan, you already alluded to this, or maybe more explicitly said, but the idea is that we want to be at peace with our brothers and sisters in Christ. And that's true in our church and even outside of our church, but especially here. So every week we are taking communion together, with the exception of the weeks we have baptism. And so every week we have an opportunity to uh proclaim the death, burial, resurrection of Jesus uh together. And it's not just about us and Jesus, but it's about us communing uh with Christ, but together with Christ that we're sharing the Lord's Supper together. And part of that time is we're to evaluate and to think through uh our lives. Um and one of the things we should think through is do I have uh is there a relationship in my life in my life where I need to reconcile with a person? Either I've done something or they I know that they have beef with me that I need to seek them out and pursue uh and uh at all costs do my best to be at peace with them. And the Lord's Supper would actually it helps us uh sit there and to reflect on that and to say, okay, actually what I need to do is reconcile with them before I even I take the Lord's Supper. Um, because what we're doing is we're saying we're united with each other, but if we're not, there's a problem there. Yeah. So uh the Lord would encourage us or uh uh command us to be at peace with everyone as far as it depends on us. That's right.

A Church Marked By Making Peace

SPEAKER_02 15:06

And uh you know, when it says if possible, I'd assume sometimes it's not possible. As far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone, and that doesn't mean you rush out necessarily. Sometimes pursuing peace with people is giving people time. Yep, yep. And you know the conversation is a good thing. Exactly. I mean it took 20 years for Jacob and Esau to get to this point. And God, God will lead us, and sometimes the most loving thing to do is to give people uh a little bit of space, and sometimes the most loving thing to do is to give people no space and to helm them and go after them and bring yourself low. And so it takes a measure of discernment and prayer, and God's given us the Holy Spirit that we might be able to discern the best way for the easy.